Change of Life

My schedule has increasingly become one that requires me to choose productive activities with least effort and are of most interest to me.

So I offer my apologies to those who've wondered why my blogging hasn't been kept up-to-date.

You may wish to check out where I'm most involved these days, and browse through answers I've given to the despondent, discouraged, and aimless.
Thanks for stopping by!

New seasons with New Friends

Nearly anyone who's had friends will eventually experience a breakup. Through other people, jobs, disagreement, lack of interest, or death.

It hurts, but I've learned that life is about change. People change. While we keep looking back at what we've had with our friends, it could mean we'll miss out on something better in the future. Friends meet a social need or desire for a season, then it's time to move on. So our thinking must change, like you change clothes when the weather changes. Being friendly to others to make new friends is a way to go. Chasing after anyone who's no longer interested, isn't. I've learned that.

Best use of time with friends is Now

It was such a thrill and delight to connect with family friends two weeks ago. We'd known them many years but hadn't seen each other for a very long time.

A lesson I've learned is that you often get what you plan for- sometimes more, sometimes less. The important thing, though, is the quality of time spent with people. What a blessing we all had that everything went perfectly during our get together, and more! We met our friends on time, we were seated for lunch ahead of schedule, the hotel scenery was fabulous, the meal was abundantly delicious, the weather was warm and sunny, food service was excellent, and the conversation was thrilling and educational.

What we didn't expect was no charge for hotel parking, and we'd been at the hotel for more than two hours. In addition, we learned later that our friends were able to catch their return ride as hoped, because the train arrived five minutes late. All this happened despite a sluggish driver in front of us slowed progress as we raced to the station for drop-off.

And we all returned home safely. That day was a fine set-up by God for all of us. Relationships are great to nuture and to make time for. Now.

Bond...Father-Daughter Bond

There's nothing like the special bond between a father and daughter, despite mistakes. I try to realize that only Adam and Eve had no issues because they were already adults when they appeared on the scene. Still I've been blessed with many fond memories with my dad, and each time I look in the mirror, I'll be reminded of him. So will many readers, even if you didn't enjoy your dad as much. Someone else can raise you, but you will only ever have one biological dad. This is something to think about, since you and/or your dad may need each other some day.

If you're not getting along with Daddy, a long talk alone with him over a snack or dinner may help. What's wrong with the two of you starting over in a relationship? Making plans to do something together occasionally can be a good beginning. Persistence and consistency. Even if plans don't work out or there's a lack of enthusiasm on either side, forgive and send him a card regularly.

My experience with my dad has gone from being possessive while young, to being a mother hen after my mom's death, to being tired of him at times. I've discovered that relationships, our attitudes, bodies, and everything else change over years. If more of us could decide now about what we'd like in 5, 10, 20 years or more, things could change from what we don't like about today's relationships to more love on both sides.

Coping with negative people

It's enough to deal with hearing bad news from the media, but when you're surrounded by pessimism at work or other tight places it's another thing. At least you can turn off the TV or radio. Tuning out people you can't always avoid is a challenge.

Sometimes I try to counteract the negativity with what's positive, in a non-aggressive tone. I know a harsh tone will likely lead to arguments. When the other person begins to wears me out, I find an excuse to go elsewhere.

If dodging the negative person is impossible, I change the subject as often as necessary. Or I turn up the radio or sing to myself at the appropriate time.

If the aggravating conversation persists despite the above efforts, I often stop talking altogether, because a stubborn person wants the last word. A proud person wants to convince others (and him/herself) that he or she is right. But eventually the one-way dialogue ends when he sees I don't respond. Patience is required in this case.

Meanwhile, I take the whole matter before God, who understands and knows the thoughts and intent of every heart. I let Him deal with the other person, His way. Because of the relationship I have with Him through Jesus Christ, I don't have to carry this nuisance around. So addition to believing that God will change the individual, I ask Him for more patience I need to be strong.

As I wait, I remind myself that the negative situation is temporary in comparison with eternity. Before I know it, the scenario will change one way or another. Distraction comes by meditating on what's good, true, lovely, and praiseworthy. This happens best with a relationship with God. If you don't have this relationship, just ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart, by praying the following out loud:

"Dear Lord Jesus, come into my heart. Forgive me of my sin. Wash me and cleanse me. Jesus, thank You that You died for me so I would have eternal life. I believe that You are the Son of God who rose from the dead and that You’re coming back again for me. I'll live for you. Thank you, Lord for saving me. Amen."

Then stay in contact by talking to the Lord everyday, and follow His Life Manual (the Bible) daily, starting with St. John. Make friends at a local Bible-teaching church and tell others about Jesus.

Missing the Old, But Moving On

A few years ago, I became attached to a certain location because it was where a new season and chapter began in my life. The surrounding conveniences seemed to make living there the ideal setting. Despite hopes of remaining in the area, that was not to be. So we moved further away.

For a long time, my mind and heart dwelled upon sentimental memories of the old place. But I knew that progress sometimes means inconvenience. Moving forward requires adjustment to where one is now and wants to be or do in the future. So I tried concentrating on my purpose and my blessings where I'm currently living. I learned to find new activities to embrace, even if it meant doing them alone.

Sometimes an unpleasant move can open doors to similar hobbies, career/business, social/spiritual affiliations in the new area, even if they're not exactly local. These may be sources of meeting compatible, helpful people. Even though I anticipate returning to my old county in the near future, others in my position may find it more realistic to discover more potential in the new location. If you're in that situation, dwell on what you might have missed if you hadn't moved.

Life doesn't have to be unsatisfactory

As you're reading this, chances are that at one point in life, you hit a bump in the road where you were just dissatisfied with your progress. Maybe it was about disappointment with your career, hating your job, a soured relationship or marriage, or anything else. Failure and feelings of vanity can make anyone think he or she is worthless and without a future.

But I think everyone was born with some potential. If you're feeling distressed about where you are now, take a look at your abilities, talents, and skills.

• Ask friends and relatives about the strengths they've observed in you.


• Check out opportunities to display your gifts: a job, hobby, at church, recreation, school, club/organizations, etc.


• Make friends at these locations who can encourage, mentor, and open other doors for you.


• Look for ways to help others who are less fortunate than you. This can help you become less self-absorbed.


• Don't compare yourself with others who seem to have it all. You're one-of-a-kind, and not like anyone else. Some who are up today may be down tomorrow.

Speaking of uniqueness, consider that sometimes God allows dissatisfaction that money, success, entertainment, friends, and things won't fulfill. I've been there and I know the feeling. God wants your attention in a relationship. It's just that life isn't about us; it's about fulfilling our purpose: to do every non-sinful thing for and become like God in character. It's about a relationship that's meant to last forever, after friends, money, health, good times, achievements and everything else are gone. A relationship starts by asking Jesus Christ to come into your heart, that He would forgive you of all your sins. Thank Him for dying for you, and that you believe that He rose from the dead. Tell Him that you'll live for Him. Then stay in contact by talking to the Lord everyday, and follow His Life Manual (the Bible) daily. Make friends at a local Bible-teaching, Holy Spirit-led church, and tell others about Jesus.

The Problem with Running From Problems

Not surprisingly, we face situations sooner or later that seem so overwhelming that we just either want to escape, or find someone strong enough to help us.

Then there are some who don't do either, but try to pretend the problems don't exist. It's kind of like the person I heard about who had problems with his car. To drown out the car's noise as he drove, he just turned up the radio volume louder and louder.

But I think the more you ignore problems, the greater they can grow. The results could be more life-threatening or devastating to a relationship. If you deal with the issues while they are small or manageable now, they may be solved faster.

Running from them could mean they catch up with you later, especially if you're part of the problem. Certain difficulties may also be growing opportunities. They can help one to mature, to face more difficult problems in the future. They should help one to be more patient, to be a better parent, student, employee, businessperson, or help others less fortunate.

No motivation to work?

Years ago, I hated the family business and felt imposed upon to do what I never wanted to do. I was resentful and at times, uncooperative. Failure in my own career goals didn't make things any easier. Still as time passed, I tried to look for some advantages for being where I was and to be thankful for what I didn't have to put up with as some do on their regular jobs.

So, if you're lacking motivation to go to work or just plain hate your job, consider the following:

1. Remind yourself that your current employment is temporary. Think about the reason(s) for being there.


2. Your purpose at that job is to work. Forget about your co-workers' habits and issues. Skip majoring in minors. You never know who may be watching your performance. Other than God, that is, because He sees, hears, and knows everything we do, say, and think. What we sow, we reap.


3. Your faithfulness at where you are now may take you places you never dreamed of. But you could miss out if you were to quit now.


4. If you have a relationship with God, you should perform on the job as though you're doing it for Him, and not your boss. Then He'll reward you in ways you might not expect. That's what He's done with me, and told me about His future plans for my life. So I know the best for me is yet to come.

This is not about religion, but a relationship. If you let Him guide you, He'll provide you the energy, motivation, wisdom and understanding needed to fulfill your goals according to His will.

A relationship with God starts by asking Jesus Christ to come into your heart, and that He would forgive you of all your sins.

Thank Him for dying for you, and that you believe that He rose from the dead. Tell Him that you'll live for Him.

Then talk to God everyday, follow His Life Manual daily from the Bible, beginning with St. John from an easy-reading version.

Make friends at a local Bible-teaching church.

Getting over being too Shy

I used to be in an emotional "box" to avoid ridicule, personal attack, or embarassment. But now I know who I am, and have just as much right to an opinion as the next person. I can choose to refrain from saying things that cause harm or lead to arguments, or make good conversation that can help.

It took getting to know myself better, and being more careful of how I think before speaking. Sometimes, what a person says influences how he or she feels. What you think or say of yourself, you become. So now I listen more closely before deciding on whether I should say anything. If there's something I can contribute, I'll add to the conversation. If I share similar interests or experiences, I may mention them to help break the ice. Or get the point across that I disagree.

Nowhere: A town of complacency & rejected opportunity

I've found that there are two major groups of people when it comes to progress: producers and consumers. Producers are aggressive and seek to change the status quo. They're risk-takers who prepare themselves and aren't hindered by obstacles. At the other end, there are those who have potential and the opportunity, but don't want to do anything to move forward. Some consumers are whiners who wish for more and criticize the people who just get things done.



The reason why certain people don't try to excel is that they like their comfort zone, predictable settings, and freedom from challenges. They may be fearful of potential failure at the next level, or loss of friends. They may hate to learn something new or assume more responsibility. Threat of confrontations, mistakes, different personalities, and other issues are difficult for some passive people to handle.


As I get older, I'm learning to be bold enough to take risks. I've decided that when I make a mistake, to learn from it and move on. My goal is to fulfill my God-given purpose, not make excuses.

To whom much is given, much is required. In other words, great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities!

Why Suicide?

I'm amazed at the numerous online postings people make about considering suicide. It proves that we're not designed to be self-sufficient. There's only so much we can take. If you're reading this and believe you've reached the end of your rope, think about this:

We all have alot to live for. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not talking about religion, but a relationship: God created us to be like Him in character, to flourish, to live in abundance, for His pleasure. This is enough of a reason to live.

If everyone abandoned you, God would still take care of you if you put Him first. This relationship starts by trusting, confessing Jesus Christ with your mouth, and believing in your heart that He rose from the dead. Then you'll be saved from wrong living and eternal destruction. He made you, gave you talents, skills, and abilities you probably haven't discovered yet. They are all meant for you to use for God. If you keep Him first in your heart, He'll draw closer and show you how to live, and guide you in the right path.

If you didn't know, suicide is still murder. Unrepented murderers don't go to heaven when they die. Those who lived in disobedience to God spend eternity in hell, where there's no relief from suffering or torment. Don't fall for the idea that when you die, that's the end of existence. Unlike lower animals, our souls live on.

If you want a fresh start to go in a better direction, it takes only a little faith that God, the only One who really knows you, will help you. But you must believe He will. He helped me when I was miserable, and He still does. I'm not that tormented, insecure, crybaby, introverted, and frustrated person I used to be.

Let God do a new thing in you and pray the following aloud:
"Dear Lord Jesus, come into my heart. Forgive me of my sin. Wash me and cleanse me. Set me free. Jesus, thank You that You died for me. I believe that You are risen from the dead and that You’re coming back again for me. Fill me with the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Lord for saving me. I’m forgiven and I’m on my way to Heaven because I have Jesus in my heart. Amen."

If you meant what you just prayed, Congratulations, and welcome to the family of God! Be sure to tell someone you've accepted Jesus Christ into your life.

Keep the relationship going by
o Talking to God everyday about everything. Spend time alone with Him, ask for His help, in the name of Jesus Christ
o Reading, meditating, and applying His Word daily from the Bible to your life. Start with St. John and I John from the Message or Amplified Bible version.
o Making friends at a local Bible-teaching, Holy Spirit-led church, where you can be encouraged in your walk of faith
o Telling others about Jesus Christ.

Being Cranky & Moody: Why let it make your day?

Isn't it strange how it's generally much easier to be bad than good, mad than glad, sad than happy, or moody than bubbly? The problem is, we don't like the results later. Most of us wouldn't think of eating filth, but we find it convenient to watch, speak, listen to, and/or behave like it.

But there's hope when it comes to getting a grip on moodiness before it seizes you:
1. Take a break by listening to calming, slow music
2. Look at beautiful, uplifting scenery.
3. Consider that someone else is worse off than you; count your blessings
4. Remember that everything in life, good and bad, is temporary.
5. Be aware that God knows every situation, thought, word, and act. He also owns everything and can fix anything. Having a relationship (not religion!), with Him through Jesus Christ, leads to wisdom, understanding, joy, peace, creativity, and alot more. If you don't have this relationship, pray aloud to invite Jesus Christ to come into your heart, and believe that He rose from the dead. Leave your way of thinking and go His way. Then He'll help you deal with your problems, so you focus on what's really important.

School Days Challenges

Like many kids, I ran into classmates who made it clear that they wanted a confrontation. Elementary, junior high, senior high- it didn't matter. Human nature is the same no matter where you go. Being as soft and passive as I was, I often did little or nothing in response. Other times, I relied on adults to defend me.

Whether it was an offer of a french fry that I didn't know had fallen on the floor, to name-calling, to intimidating looks and sarcastic comments due to jealousy, I had my share of irritants. Yet, the one thing I'd learned as I grew older, is that life is a two-way street for many, if not most people. That is, despite the ugly side, acts of kindness, respect, and thoughtfulness do exist. Sometimes I've been shown favor when I least expected it, without my having worn makeup, special clothing or hairstyle, or said a word.

So, if you're a kid or know one who's having it rough at school or elsewhere, consider this:

• Try going to places where you know the troublemaker(s) won't likely be. Examples are a library, museum, or someplace else that's educational. Fools don't typically stay where wisdom is found. If you're at school, choose a different class time or lunch period, if possible. Avoid being alone.


• When the bully insults you, look him or her straight in the eye, resist the comments with the truth, and walk away. Only an idiot will keep talking by himself. Don't get close enough to be touched, but resist if necessary.


• If it's possible, have someone videotape any confrontations and report them to the principal or some other authority. Truthfully explain what's been going on.


• Don't get revenge or stoop to the troublemaker's level, or you'll look and sound as foolish as he or she is. Chances are that the bully has some unresolved issues and is looking for a scapegoat.


• Do something kind. I know it's contrary to human nature, but if your enemy has any conscience, your good acts may make him feel ashamed for his behavior. It may take time for the effects to occur, so you may have to repeat your good deeds several times.


• Find something fun to do as a distraction. Otherwise, you may let these problems interfere with your studies and relationships.


• Talk to God about all your problems. He is a very present help in the time of trouble. If you mean business with Him, He'll settle the issue. Then you need to live for Him as your best Friend, by accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
  

Helpful hints for loners...

If you were to ask me how to be your own best friend, I'd suggest:

• Letting go of bad habits and adopt good ones.



• Going after the healthy things you enjoy.



• Listening to encouraging, inspiring, and motivated people, so their conversation will rub off on you.



• Staying away from angry, gossiping, arrogant, and immoral people. Their ways will lead you in the wrong direction.



• Taking classes in something that will help you increase your potential. An unused mind is a wasted one.

But I'd also say it's healthy to have others in your life besides yourself. So if you want to make friends, be friendly. There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Is Home the same since school started?

Anxiety can make a student feel miserable. School activities, pressures to perform well, homework load, home life, etc. can affect feelings, not just at home, but anywhere.

There are different ways to cope with school anxiety. Examples: doing some household chores, getting involved in an outside recreational activity to help someone. An idle mind is the devil's workshop, and if a person keeps sitting around thinking about being miserable, that unseen evil will start putting more junk in the head. The key is to stay busy.

It's also important to be good to oneself- connect with some hobby, visit a pleasant scene to uplift spirits for awhile. Listening to calm, soft music helps and some can even be therapeutic.
Best of all, I'd suggest telling God all about the problems with school and home life. He made everyone for Himself and knows all about us and where we're going. When we're in a committed relationship with Him through His Son Jesus Christ, He'll guide and lead us. Visit http://www.powertochange.com/.

Getting myself together before true love arrives

I've heard that to be a wife, be or act like one before you are one. So that's what I've been practicing, consciously or subconsciously, before true love arrives. It's probably also a good idea to learn how the opposite sex thinks, to avoid many conflicts and miscommunication. After all, men think differently from women.

Because of a good relationship with my male relatives, I make it a habit of treating them the way I generally would with my husband-to-be. Examples are developing skills, being a better cook, an early riser and organizer. In other words, I try to make up for the weak points I've noticed in the guys. A good wife should be like a crown to her husband, a woman of discretion, and prudent. When you try to make him look good, he'll likely praise you and look nowhere else for happiness.

A good source of wife wisdom is found in Proverbs chapter 31, verses 10-31 from the Bible's Old testament. For easier reading, I suggest the Contemporary English Version, the Message or Amplified Bible version. A good relationship with God by accepting Jesus Christ is the path toward healthy human relationships. And a prudent wife is sent by the Lord.

It's about Trust...

It seems that trust is becoming more of a challenge these days. But it's not impossible- I guess it just takes patience, and a risk.

• Building trust requires being faithful, sincere, dependable when asked to do something.



• Don't lie or make excuses when you've made a mistake.



• Be accountable and consistent.



• Admit when you're wrong and stop doing what's wrong.



• Forgive others when they make mistakes.



• Learn to give and be kind.

About Getting Attention...

I'm sure there are lots of ways to get attention- some good, like trying to rescue someone in distress. There are bad ways, too, like flaunting and flirting for selfish means.

I think the best way to get attention is to show genuine concern about people, and display some gifted ability to help solve their problems.

Journeys with the Family

Since I was a child, I enjoyed traveling by car, air, and on rare occasions, by train, with my family. It was fun to stretch out on the back seat as my dad drove long distances down South and western destinations. While heading to Georgia, we'd stop at Stuckey's store/snack shop and enjoy pecan rolls. When preparing to travel by plane, there was excitement in the air when my mom would wake up my little brother and me early in the morning to get ready. Those days were dear to my childhood. They led me to becoming a little spoiled, in fact.

Many years passed, and my mother did, too. So I became the queen of the household and found great pleasure in making family travel plans. Though it has been aggravating at times, I still hold fond memories of my brother driving us to Las Vegas or to the mountains. Eating, laughing and talking together along the way have been one of my pleasures. Flying abroad to other countries where we've never visited before prove to be a valuable treasure and experience.

Travelling together on a train's sleeping car and by cruise ship are beautiful events which I'll never forget. And being able to enjoy a trip and returning home without incident, accident, terrorism, or illness are blessings from the Lord.

Life is like a journey; some wonderful experiences can be repeated. Some, we'll never enjoy together again. So, I'll count all my blessings, because they make me rich.