Coping with negative people

It's enough to deal with hearing bad news from the media, but when you're surrounded by pessimism at work or other tight places it's another thing. At least you can turn off the TV or radio. Tuning out people you can't always avoid is a challenge.

Sometimes I try to counteract the negativity with what's positive, in a non-aggressive tone. I know a harsh tone will likely lead to arguments. When the other person begins to wears me out, I find an excuse to go elsewhere.

If dodging the negative person is impossible, I change the subject as often as necessary. Or I turn up the radio or sing to myself at the appropriate time.

If the aggravating conversation persists despite the above efforts, I often stop talking altogether, because a stubborn person wants the last word. A proud person wants to convince others (and him/herself) that he or she is right. But eventually the one-way dialogue ends when he sees I don't respond. Patience is required in this case.

Meanwhile, I take the whole matter before God, who understands and knows the thoughts and intent of every heart. I let Him deal with the other person, His way. Because of the relationship I have with Him through Jesus Christ, I don't have to carry this nuisance around. So addition to believing that God will change the individual, I ask Him for more patience I need to be strong.

As I wait, I remind myself that the negative situation is temporary in comparison with eternity. Before I know it, the scenario will change one way or another. Distraction comes by meditating on what's good, true, lovely, and praiseworthy. This happens best with a relationship with God. If you don't have this relationship, just ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart, by praying the following out loud:

"Dear Lord Jesus, come into my heart. Forgive me of my sin. Wash me and cleanse me. Jesus, thank You that You died for me so I would have eternal life. I believe that You are the Son of God who rose from the dead and that You’re coming back again for me. I'll live for you. Thank you, Lord for saving me. Amen."

Then stay in contact by talking to the Lord everyday, and follow His Life Manual (the Bible) daily, starting with St. John. Make friends at a local Bible-teaching church and tell others about Jesus.

Missing the Old, But Moving On

A few years ago, I became attached to a certain location because it was where a new season and chapter began in my life. The surrounding conveniences seemed to make living there the ideal setting. Despite hopes of remaining in the area, that was not to be. So we moved further away.

For a long time, my mind and heart dwelled upon sentimental memories of the old place. But I knew that progress sometimes means inconvenience. Moving forward requires adjustment to where one is now and wants to be or do in the future. So I tried concentrating on my purpose and my blessings where I'm currently living. I learned to find new activities to embrace, even if it meant doing them alone.

Sometimes an unpleasant move can open doors to similar hobbies, career/business, social/spiritual affiliations in the new area, even if they're not exactly local. These may be sources of meeting compatible, helpful people. Even though I anticipate returning to my old county in the near future, others in my position may find it more realistic to discover more potential in the new location. If you're in that situation, dwell on what you might have missed if you hadn't moved.

Life doesn't have to be unsatisfactory

As you're reading this, chances are that at one point in life, you hit a bump in the road where you were just dissatisfied with your progress. Maybe it was about disappointment with your career, hating your job, a soured relationship or marriage, or anything else. Failure and feelings of vanity can make anyone think he or she is worthless and without a future.

But I think everyone was born with some potential. If you're feeling distressed about where you are now, take a look at your abilities, talents, and skills.

• Ask friends and relatives about the strengths they've observed in you.


• Check out opportunities to display your gifts: a job, hobby, at church, recreation, school, club/organizations, etc.


• Make friends at these locations who can encourage, mentor, and open other doors for you.


• Look for ways to help others who are less fortunate than you. This can help you become less self-absorbed.


• Don't compare yourself with others who seem to have it all. You're one-of-a-kind, and not like anyone else. Some who are up today may be down tomorrow.

Speaking of uniqueness, consider that sometimes God allows dissatisfaction that money, success, entertainment, friends, and things won't fulfill. I've been there and I know the feeling. God wants your attention in a relationship. It's just that life isn't about us; it's about fulfilling our purpose: to do every non-sinful thing for and become like God in character. It's about a relationship that's meant to last forever, after friends, money, health, good times, achievements and everything else are gone. A relationship starts by asking Jesus Christ to come into your heart, that He would forgive you of all your sins. Thank Him for dying for you, and that you believe that He rose from the dead. Tell Him that you'll live for Him. Then stay in contact by talking to the Lord everyday, and follow His Life Manual (the Bible) daily. Make friends at a local Bible-teaching, Holy Spirit-led church, and tell others about Jesus.

The Problem with Running From Problems

Not surprisingly, we face situations sooner or later that seem so overwhelming that we just either want to escape, or find someone strong enough to help us.

Then there are some who don't do either, but try to pretend the problems don't exist. It's kind of like the person I heard about who had problems with his car. To drown out the car's noise as he drove, he just turned up the radio volume louder and louder.

But I think the more you ignore problems, the greater they can grow. The results could be more life-threatening or devastating to a relationship. If you deal with the issues while they are small or manageable now, they may be solved faster.

Running from them could mean they catch up with you later, especially if you're part of the problem. Certain difficulties may also be growing opportunities. They can help one to mature, to face more difficult problems in the future. They should help one to be more patient, to be a better parent, student, employee, businessperson, or help others less fortunate.