Change of Life

My schedule has increasingly become one that requires me to choose productive activities with least effort and are of most interest to me.

So I offer my apologies to those who've wondered why my blogging hasn't been kept up-to-date.

You may wish to check out where I'm most involved these days, and browse through answers I've given to the despondent, discouraged, and aimless.
Thanks for stopping by!

New seasons with New Friends

Nearly anyone who's had friends will eventually experience a breakup. Through other people, jobs, disagreement, lack of interest, or death.

It hurts, but I've learned that life is about change. People change. While we keep looking back at what we've had with our friends, it could mean we'll miss out on something better in the future. Friends meet a social need or desire for a season, then it's time to move on. So our thinking must change, like you change clothes when the weather changes. Being friendly to others to make new friends is a way to go. Chasing after anyone who's no longer interested, isn't. I've learned that.

Best use of time with friends is Now

It was such a thrill and delight to connect with family friends two weeks ago. We'd known them many years but hadn't seen each other for a very long time.

A lesson I've learned is that you often get what you plan for- sometimes more, sometimes less. The important thing, though, is the quality of time spent with people. What a blessing we all had that everything went perfectly during our get together, and more! We met our friends on time, we were seated for lunch ahead of schedule, the hotel scenery was fabulous, the meal was abundantly delicious, the weather was warm and sunny, food service was excellent, and the conversation was thrilling and educational.

What we didn't expect was no charge for hotel parking, and we'd been at the hotel for more than two hours. In addition, we learned later that our friends were able to catch their return ride as hoped, because the train arrived five minutes late. All this happened despite a sluggish driver in front of us slowed progress as we raced to the station for drop-off.

And we all returned home safely. That day was a fine set-up by God for all of us. Relationships are great to nuture and to make time for. Now.

Bond...Father-Daughter Bond

There's nothing like the special bond between a father and daughter, despite mistakes. I try to realize that only Adam and Eve had no issues because they were already adults when they appeared on the scene. Still I've been blessed with many fond memories with my dad, and each time I look in the mirror, I'll be reminded of him. So will many readers, even if you didn't enjoy your dad as much. Someone else can raise you, but you will only ever have one biological dad. This is something to think about, since you and/or your dad may need each other some day.

If you're not getting along with Daddy, a long talk alone with him over a snack or dinner may help. What's wrong with the two of you starting over in a relationship? Making plans to do something together occasionally can be a good beginning. Persistence and consistency. Even if plans don't work out or there's a lack of enthusiasm on either side, forgive and send him a card regularly.

My experience with my dad has gone from being possessive while young, to being a mother hen after my mom's death, to being tired of him at times. I've discovered that relationships, our attitudes, bodies, and everything else change over years. If more of us could decide now about what we'd like in 5, 10, 20 years or more, things could change from what we don't like about today's relationships to more love on both sides.

Coping with negative people

It's enough to deal with hearing bad news from the media, but when you're surrounded by pessimism at work or other tight places it's another thing. At least you can turn off the TV or radio. Tuning out people you can't always avoid is a challenge.

Sometimes I try to counteract the negativity with what's positive, in a non-aggressive tone. I know a harsh tone will likely lead to arguments. When the other person begins to wears me out, I find an excuse to go elsewhere.

If dodging the negative person is impossible, I change the subject as often as necessary. Or I turn up the radio or sing to myself at the appropriate time.

If the aggravating conversation persists despite the above efforts, I often stop talking altogether, because a stubborn person wants the last word. A proud person wants to convince others (and him/herself) that he or she is right. But eventually the one-way dialogue ends when he sees I don't respond. Patience is required in this case.

Meanwhile, I take the whole matter before God, who understands and knows the thoughts and intent of every heart. I let Him deal with the other person, His way. Because of the relationship I have with Him through Jesus Christ, I don't have to carry this nuisance around. So addition to believing that God will change the individual, I ask Him for more patience I need to be strong.

As I wait, I remind myself that the negative situation is temporary in comparison with eternity. Before I know it, the scenario will change one way or another. Distraction comes by meditating on what's good, true, lovely, and praiseworthy. This happens best with a relationship with God. If you don't have this relationship, just ask Jesus Christ to come into your heart, by praying the following out loud:

"Dear Lord Jesus, come into my heart. Forgive me of my sin. Wash me and cleanse me. Jesus, thank You that You died for me so I would have eternal life. I believe that You are the Son of God who rose from the dead and that You’re coming back again for me. I'll live for you. Thank you, Lord for saving me. Amen."

Then stay in contact by talking to the Lord everyday, and follow His Life Manual (the Bible) daily, starting with St. John. Make friends at a local Bible-teaching church and tell others about Jesus.

Missing the Old, But Moving On

A few years ago, I became attached to a certain location because it was where a new season and chapter began in my life. The surrounding conveniences seemed to make living there the ideal setting. Despite hopes of remaining in the area, that was not to be. So we moved further away.

For a long time, my mind and heart dwelled upon sentimental memories of the old place. But I knew that progress sometimes means inconvenience. Moving forward requires adjustment to where one is now and wants to be or do in the future. So I tried concentrating on my purpose and my blessings where I'm currently living. I learned to find new activities to embrace, even if it meant doing them alone.

Sometimes an unpleasant move can open doors to similar hobbies, career/business, social/spiritual affiliations in the new area, even if they're not exactly local. These may be sources of meeting compatible, helpful people. Even though I anticipate returning to my old county in the near future, others in my position may find it more realistic to discover more potential in the new location. If you're in that situation, dwell on what you might have missed if you hadn't moved.

Life doesn't have to be unsatisfactory

As you're reading this, chances are that at one point in life, you hit a bump in the road where you were just dissatisfied with your progress. Maybe it was about disappointment with your career, hating your job, a soured relationship or marriage, or anything else. Failure and feelings of vanity can make anyone think he or she is worthless and without a future.

But I think everyone was born with some potential. If you're feeling distressed about where you are now, take a look at your abilities, talents, and skills.

• Ask friends and relatives about the strengths they've observed in you.


• Check out opportunities to display your gifts: a job, hobby, at church, recreation, school, club/organizations, etc.


• Make friends at these locations who can encourage, mentor, and open other doors for you.


• Look for ways to help others who are less fortunate than you. This can help you become less self-absorbed.


• Don't compare yourself with others who seem to have it all. You're one-of-a-kind, and not like anyone else. Some who are up today may be down tomorrow.

Speaking of uniqueness, consider that sometimes God allows dissatisfaction that money, success, entertainment, friends, and things won't fulfill. I've been there and I know the feeling. God wants your attention in a relationship. It's just that life isn't about us; it's about fulfilling our purpose: to do every non-sinful thing for and become like God in character. It's about a relationship that's meant to last forever, after friends, money, health, good times, achievements and everything else are gone. A relationship starts by asking Jesus Christ to come into your heart, that He would forgive you of all your sins. Thank Him for dying for you, and that you believe that He rose from the dead. Tell Him that you'll live for Him. Then stay in contact by talking to the Lord everyday, and follow His Life Manual (the Bible) daily. Make friends at a local Bible-teaching, Holy Spirit-led church, and tell others about Jesus.